Fanfic Advice: How to deal with constructive criticism and flames.

 It is not easy to deal with bad feedback when you are a writer. There is a quote in Fairy Tail that sticks out to me where it says that being a writer is like showing the world your butt.

And honest to god that's true. Whether it's traditionally published original work or fanfic, we writers really put a lot of our soul into our writing, and we are sharing something very personal with the world, so getting bad feedback or even-worse-outright flames can feel like a punch to the gut.

Here's some advice on how to deal with it.

I rarely get flamed, I will get constructive criticism (Which are two very different things, as I'll explain) but it's rare when someone gets outright rude to me.

But not too long ago, I did get a review that opened with

"-Not to be rude-"

I 'love' it when people open with 'not to be rude' but then say something incredibly rude, as though saying that in the first place somehow negates the rudeness. I didn't read the whole review, but it opened with telling me my grammar was so bad that it looked like English (my native language) was my second or third language. Wow....

First of all, nothing wrong with having English as a second or third language, but being told that I (a native speaker) had such poor grammar that it looked like I wasn't a native speaker? Well, that stung. They left me a rather long review and I couldn't bring myself to read the whole thing. If they insulted me so bad in the opening, what other god-awful thing would they say to me?

I couldn't understand why this person just couldn't have corrected me on my grammar errors instead of just being so rude to me. But in the end, I let it go.

Because in the end, you have to let things go. 

1. Don't take flames personally. Very hard, because you are showing your butt to the world, and nobody likes to think they have a bad butt. But it's true. If someone leaves you a nasty comment, it doesn't mean you or your story is bad. That person just went out of their way to dislike it, and probably just wanted to hurt your feelings.

In the end, if someone leaves you an unreasonably nasty flame, it's better to move on. Even the best writers get negative reviews. There have been books I thought were absolute works of art that had bad reviews on goodreads. There are books that are highly regarded that I think of as trash. 

Not everyone will like your story! And that's okay, everyone has a preference. Just because that particular person didn't like your story doesn't mean it's bad. 

2. Do not touch the poop! Okay, story time. I used to be friends with another fanfic writer named Michelle. Michelle isn't the name she goes by online and it's a common name, so I doubt I'll be tracked down.

Anyone someone left her a negative review on her fic, and she got angry and on her next chapter she left a review calling the flamer a host of very, very nasty names. She let her emotions get the better of her and made a huge mistake. Well, a lot of people felt she overreacted to the flame (And personally I was one of them, but didn't dare tell her that. Didn't want to get yelled at) and left negative comments telling her she had been unreasonably rude. 

And she has another friend (Amanda) go completely white knight and started arguing with the flamers in the comment section, and her comment section turned into a war zone between Amanda and the flamer. And others who felt like Michelle was throwing a tantrum over nothing-and to be honest she was.

She would soon abandon the fic and say that the flames killed the story for her. Really, had she never responded to the flamer it would have never happened.

If someone leaves you a nasty comment, DO NOT respond. Please, take Michelle's story as a warning. 

Do not touch the poop! Also, flamers love attention, they like it if they know they got to you it just encourages it.

3. Constructive Criticism isn't flaming. Please don't take any sort of criticism as a flame. Just because someone criticizes your work, doesn't mean they are being rude or trying to hurt you. It can be the opposite in fact.

It is best to understand that sometimes being given criticism can be beneficial if you want to grow as a writer, but learn to know the difference, if they aren't personally insulting you or using inflammatory language, then chances are they are just trying to help you.

Like the flame I got, had the person simply told me what grammar mistakes I was making without being rude to me, then it would have been constructive criticism, and I would have listened to what they said. But the rudeness made it a flame.

There is a difference.

Don't take it personally

Don't respond.

Take constructive criticism and don't confuse every negative review as a personal attack.

That's my advice.